FiOne- God’s Freed One

past 2 papers were ok. next 3 are more challenging!!! but it’ll be over soon.. more will be in the future..

met a car accident wif a bro this morning. despite the slight bump felt when sitting in the car, the physical damages to both cars were more than just felt. See, feeling is not a good gauge to what’s really happening! the metals were dented so that the shock’s absorbed & protect the people inside (that’s the mechanism of the car body right? thought i learnt it in Physics class!). Imagine Jesus also "absorbed" (bear) our wrongs (sins) so that those who believe IN Him will be protected (saved).

my feelings @ that point of time: abit "ohoh" & TG i’m not the driver. later TG no one was physically injured & that the victim car owner was not fierce. he’s quite calm & gentle (machiam very experienced in such accident~)

of course @ that instant, the feeling os accusation from the devil one came as quickly too. he’s efficient huh? but not effective this time. not TODAY! (my cell group leader (cgl), glenice will be very happy to read this if she ever comes Friendster) cos Today! i’ve choosen to let God reign in everything i do.

normally when bad things happen, he’ll whisper into my mind "You’re always the one causing the fall of others. You’ll cause the fall of many. Why don’t you just shut up the next time?!?". Although the 2nd sentence sounds like Jesus Himself (for a gd cause),in my case the devil’s not gonna make it for a gd cause. i used to have rather clear picture of how the devil can use me to cause the fall of many men…  & hurt many women if i leave Jesus. yes, it was terrible. & i’ve suffered quite abit in term of identity & confidence & personal growth cos i’ve chosen to listen to what the devil has got to say about me instead listening to my Lord Jesus at times. BUTTTTT… TODAY is a new day made by the Lord, I shall rejoice & be glad in it! (Psa 118: 24)

nevertheless, pray that this lovely bro of mine will be strengthen even more as the devil tries to invade & destroy. our Lord Jesus has come to give life, life in abundance!!! so take heart, bro! ok… this bro’s lovely not becos he always offers to drive us who knows him but that i’ve witnessed how his soul & heart can still praise God when he met a disaster last Dec. you’ve been encouraging although i haven’t verbally tell you b4. Bro, if u reading this.. this’s for you in your liked version:

Matt 3: 17 "And along with the Spirit, a voice: "This is my Son, chosen and marked by my love, delight of my life."" (The Message)

For those been to G12, this’s the NIV version: And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son (God’s acceptance), whom I love (God’s affirmation); with him I am well pleased (God’s approval).”

ok. the worship confirmed that i should be exercising more! was aching by the end of conf & finally fell asleep during sun’s svc. but that’s me.. will cheong all the way while i’ve the energy & in the end, punctured! hahah.. clear forget the wisdom words "Pace yourself". Aiya, smtms i just wanna give all my 100% best to worshipping God (while i can)… who knows what happen next, except God?

i didn’t really catch anything new this G12. but unsurprisely, the session  on Father’s acceptance, affirmation and approval (Matt 3:17)  was the most "appealing" to me. since Jesus also needed these 3 things from God, what more do fallen man like us? think people like me who has a typical Asian father, hardly get a word with their fathers in our daily lifes, not to mention acceptance, affirmation and approval. Hey, i’m not pointing my finger @ all these fathers okie. i understand they may have grown up in this kinda family environment themselves too. they find it hard to give & receive, living their lives just the way they’re. unable to experience the true Father’s love. that’s the part moves my heart not to bear grudges towards my dad cos he’s a victim too. instead that’s my driving force in loving him. (loving my mom is another set of story).

but when i realised such "tragedy" existence, of cos the 1st reaction is "hey! i don’t want my next family to be like that too! i’ll make sure WHEN i’ve my own family & then i’ll start building it correctly". but God said to me the correction/ changes must begin now, with me. mistakes that are not corrected early, are harder to be as time drags on. change, easier said than done, due to the accompanying factor called uncertainty, which creates fear.

there’s this constant struggle between the Spirit (telling me to do what i should) & the flesh (just do what i want), as mentioned in the bible. "the heart’s willing but the flesh’s weak" is the secular version. smtms it’s overcomed, smtms i give in to the flesh. com’on, who says christians are perfect & cannot sin anymore? if we’re perfect, we don’t need a god! but we do have a perfect God and Father who love the imperfect man. John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.". Jesus, give me mOre of You so that i’ll be more like You.

"more more more, i want more more more. more of Jesus~~~"

Wa!! finally friday has come!!! i can go G12 conference after my Financial Econs quiz! Thank God (TG) last night’s revision was superb! suddenly i understand my stuff.. was faithfully revising in Canteen A so by the time i reached hall room, i hit the bed straightaway… also not very late la, 12am? around there because i tried to get my beauty sleep one…

cant wait to worship God @ the floor later… i scare jump in front of the seat i’ll trip over! hahah… can be clumsy sometimes (smtms)

hehee.. you’ll start to see my shortforms appearing.. these are words i used often & are rather long & common to use.. eg. TG from TGIF. yea~ TGIF!!!

thought i was just not sleepy, so was msning abit with owen about how God made His ple & my paths crossed in yr 2001 last night. i know i often think back into the past & "stay" there for quite some time in memory. but it’s this part of my past which i find most Amazing. it opened my eyes & heart to the God i hardly know then & changed my life since . need forgiveness which i regard man’ll be stingy to give freely. i’m so glad i’ve found this forgiveness & love in Jesus. every believer has his own salvation story to tell & every story tells of His love & grace for His chosen creations.

God always has His own ways to touch me &/or bring me back or close to Him. recapping my salvation past is 1 way. my amazements are beyond desciprtions of words (if u’ve such amazements towards God, u’ll know what i mean here). He’s just sooooo Amazing!!!

if God knows me, He knows you too because He creates you (remember He’s the Creator?). if He don’t know me, i willn’t be bother to continue my tough walk with Him. try going ‘Amazing Race’ with someone u hardly know, it just becomes a boring & self-centred task after sometimes & then a "bye" to end that trip.

Thank God there’s no "bye" between Him & me. at least on His part, He promised never to leave nor forsake me. on my part… err, i did walked my own ways a few times w/o consciously putting Him 1st in my life. but it always ended up with "emptiness & loss" which would drive me into thinking "life gotta be more than this!". i just cannot believe that the Alimighty God who had shown me forgiveness & love, now can’t be bother with my life anymore! Ridiculous~~~ God’ s the same yesterday. today, tomorrow. if that’s not true, Jesus’s 12 disciplines had died for nothing, many missionaries had suffered for nothing, many of the believers now had hope for nothing.  don’t bother to print any more Holy Bibles, save the trees & environment. BUT because Jesus is true & living, saving souls is more important than saving trees….

souls last, trees don’t. where do you want to live for eternal?

well, exam starts next Thurs. But there’s still "things" lining up for me to complete like 2 essay assignments, 1 quiz on Fri & G12 conference this weekend. I’m looking forward to attending G12 on Fri evening actually. It’ll be after my quiz & my last "bookless" weekend for the next 1 mth. It’s gd to begin with God 1st before anything else slip in. But as earthly being, it’s hard for me to focus on God 24/7. Thank God for the Spirit Helper given to remind me of His presence & promptings.

Time flies, 1st G12 conference I attended was in 2002. I remembered how I sacrificed the card that glen wrote to me, in return for the higher God’s relationship. G12 2003, how Jesus asked me to trust Hiim with my pasts & healings. G12 2004, I was struggling with growth issue. Up to now I’m still struggling but God gave me a comforting revelation that He’s taking His precious time to mold me into a better me whom He has in mind. Of course He cares when I tear as He even bothers to collect those big & small tears in bottles, stored in heaven. Obviously He can use His time in keeping this world in place but He’s taking His time to walk this journey with me as promised. He’s the Promise-Keeper, a Faithful Father. G12 2005, I don’t want to expect… what more do Jesus want of me.