Brought at the highest price
I was still feeling pain in the afternoon because of the antibiotics. Checked with doctor again & she said to try for 1 more then before I stop. Finally I decided to heed Mlee’s advice to stop immediately, which I initially wondered if it’s a bad move since we’re SUPPOSED to complete the full course. So painful that if I didn’t do anything to distract myself from the pain, it’s quite unbearable. Hehee.. in the end, i took a nap but when I woke up, it’s pouring in NTU! Usually I’ll feel sian if it rains when I’m about to go out but at that moment, I’m thinking, rain or pain will not stop me from attending Sanctification Week! Not a sense of sianness because I know the trip’s worthwhile.
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Bearing the pain, i overslept on MRT & alighted at Tanah Merah instead of Paya Lebar. As I took a bus to TC, it passed by Bedok & I still felt that I’m at "home".. As I’m reaching, I suddenly recalled the scene that happened the night before, where I’m captivated by the beautiful banners inside TC, the detailedness & colours of these art works. Even told Chin who’s beside me that I want the "red" one.. haha. I went on further in my own imaginations about me asking Ps Khong how much does one of that banners cost! haha.. but before he ever got a chance to reply, I answered myself by say "it must be very expensive since it’s so beautiful." Through that short flashback & added thoughts, amazingly, God told me that i’m beautiful since i’m brought at the highest price.. Jesus’s blood. hehe.. simple analogy but I comprehen it better than He just telling me plainful without an example.
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Bearing the pain, I ate dinner with Mlee & Chin before going into TC. Initially wanted to tell them the impression I just had from God, but the pain killed my talking mood. TG it faded off after Mlee prayed for me & I could concentrate better. Ps HG was funny in his deliverance of the session, it helps to keep us awake & remember the lessons better too.
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I confirmed that I’ve many "Goliaths" in my life.. Fear of this & that but no fear of God. Only God can change & renew my mind. Am I not willing to receive? Why am I not willing? I’m only scare that I’ll have a "releapse", then I’ll feel even worse off than before, disappointed. It’s like I trust God to renew me totally, but then it’s like not working/ not working fully. That’s why I’m holding back most of the time… by having a plan B. BUT having to recognise this fear is good. So I don’t have to be deceived/ ignorant. Instead, I can commit all these to our Good God, our Loving Lord, our Superb Shepherd, our Faithful Father. He knows best how to deal with them. 
